Oscar Wilde famously married Constance Mary Lloyd in 1884 when he was 28. The couple had a great loving friendship, and Wilde wrote in a letter to a friend that “she is a dream of loveliness” (Hansard). Constance was the daughter of a wealthy lawyer, and she was well-educated in the customs of the day, often taking in Wilde’s works to analyze and discuss. Constance was a calm and steady influence in the tempestuous social life of the Victorian era.
The two had two sons together, Cyril and Vyvyan, both of whom were born in the early 1890s. During their marriage, Wilde’s health declined, and he died shortly after their oldest son’s death in 1900. Constance told her sons not to live as Wilde did and to not follow their father’s life of pleasure. She wanted them to lead morally upright lives.
Throughout their marriage, Constance was always supportive of Wilde’s career, believing in his extraordinary talents. Despite this moral and intellectual support, the relationship ended in tragedy. Wilde’s tremendous appetite for high society and a consequent legal suit caused them to separate in 1895. Despite this, they never divorced, as they were devoted to each other.
Despite their separation, Wilde and Constance kept in touch through correspondence, Wilde often sending epistles to his beloved. In one particular letter, Wilde wrote: “Is there anything that can soothe me but your breath, your eyes and the incense of your soul?” (Yenne). It is clear from his words that he held Constance in the highest regard, even after the separation.
In 1899, Wilde was released from Reading Gaol and immediately went to die with Constance. He stayed with her until his death in 1900. Despite the fact that the two were separated, when Wilde passed away it was still said that the two were united in death. It is clear that there was great love and devotion between them, even though their marriage ultimately ended in tragedy.
The Impact of Wilde’s Marriage
Although the marriage of Oscar Wilde and Constance Lloyd was never able to fully emerge after Wilde’s imprisonment, its importance and influence in Wilde’s career cannot be overstated. As the wife of Britain’s most iconic playwright, Constance served as a source of strength and inspiration for Wilde during their courtship and marriage. Constance was a brilliant, educated woman, and she was quite well-read and was the person Wilde consulted for moral and artistic guidance both before and during their marriage. As such, her opinions and comments had a major impact on Wilde’s work and its reception. Moreover, the presence of his marriage provided Wilde with the stability he needed to produce some of the most iconic works of the late 19th century.
Their relationship reverberated in the public sphere as well. Wilde was often the subject of bitter gossip and vitriolic attacks, but the support and unwavering loyalty of Constance Lloyd kept Wilde anchored in terms of public perception. In their time, it was common to treat marriage as a practical matter, but the love and faithfulness Constance and Wilde showed each other helped to chip away at society’s cynical view of matrimony. Their romance eventually gave way to tragedy, but the impact of their marriage was still felt for years, setting an example of what a healthy and committed marriage should be.
It is interesting to note Wilde’s feelings for the institution of marriage. While he had a deep and abiding love for Constance, he was also uncompromising in his belief that marriages should be based on similarity of opinion and deep understanding. Wilde wrote, “the two people who are really one are not the bridegroom and the bride, although they have been so ceremoniously united, but the lover and the loved one. That is marriage, and it is a pity that society should take it upon itself to interfere with so divine a contract” (Yenne). This speaks to Wilde’s views on the nature of marriage and its impact on the life of an artist. He believed that a successful relationship was not merely a requirement for staying alive, but an absolute must for artistic flourishing.
The Effect On the Wilde Family
Although the marriage of Oscar Wilde and Constance Lloyd did not last, the effect it had on Wilde and his beloved sons was significant. Prior to his stint in jail, Wilde had always been close to all of his children and was a devoted husband. After his release and eventual death, it left his sons, Cyril and Vyvyan, with a longing and a sense of abandonment. This is evidenced in the following quote from Vyvyan in a letter to John Gray: “The thing I regret more and more is not having known my poor father, and poor Cyril. What they were and did, the genius and charm they had I have never and will never know” (Hansard).
To make matters worse, Constance Lloyd deliberately distanced her sons from Wilde, making sure that they would follow a more conventional and moral life. His sons were also completely cut off from all of Wilde’s extended family, leading to a deepening sense of sorrow and alienation. This was exacerbated by the fact that both Cyril and Vivian were too young to gain a full understanding of the circumstances of their father’s imprisonment and death. This sense of longing and confusion caused by their father’s absence would haunt them for the rest of their lives.
It is clear that the marriage of Wilde and Lloyd had a lasting and profound effect not only on Wilde’s life and works, but also on the lives of his beloved sons. Despite the tragedy of the separation,Constance and Wilde still managed to foster a deep, abiding love that transcended the boundaries of time and circumstance. Even in death, they remained united, a testament to the love they shared and its lasting significance.
The Legacy of Wilde’s Marriage
The marriage of Oscar Wilde and Constance Lloyd was both a source of inspiration and a tragic reminder of relationships that ended in tragedy. The union of two remarkable people created a powerful symbol for the power of love, loyalty, and devotion that transcended the limits of everyday life. Even in death, Wilde and Constance still remain united, a testament to their enduring love.
The legacy of their relationship has also been immortalized in literature. The works of Oscar Wilde, as well as his letters to Constance, serve as evidence of their union and the positive impact Wilde’s devotion had on his work. Through these works, Wilde’s love and dedication to Constance shone through and is still remembered today. Moreover, the struggles faced by Wilde’s sons when their father passed away has served as a reminder for all children of the importance of family, and of preserving high moral values.
The story of Oscar Wilde and Constance Lloyd is a story of love, devotion, and tragedy, and its impact can still be felt today. As a lesson in devotion and faithfulness, it serves as a reminder of the power of love, and how it can still endure in even the darkest of times. As Oscar Wilde wrote, “love is unconquerable, and life is a long siege” (Yenne). In the case of Wilde and Lloyd, it is clear that love conquered all, even in death.
Social Impacts of Wilde’s Marriage
The marriage of Oscar Wilde and Constance Lloyd had a significant effect on social conventions in the 19th century. At the time, relationships between men and women were subject to a great deal of scrutiny and criticism, but Wilde and Lloyd’s relationship showed that love and devotion can transcend societal boundaries. Despite the tragedy of their separation, the example set by Wilde and Lloyd gave people hope, proving that love could exist despite difficult circumstances.
Moreover, the affection between Wilde and his wife had a profound effect on how people treated unmarried couples. Prior to his marriage, Wilde was often the subject of gossip, but having the support and faithfulness of Constance helped to mute these criticisms. Ultimately, Wilde’s marriage gave single men and women a chance to practice long-term relationships without the fear of being judged for not marrying.
The marriage of Wilde and Lloyd also had an effect on the artistic world. The stability and understanding Constance provided was instrumental in allowing Wilde to create some of the most important works of the Victorian era. Her presence and contribution to Wilde’s life flourished, giving a voice to those who were unable to do so due to the rigid moral standards of the day.
Through their marriage, Wilde and Lloyd showed the world that love could be bigger than public opinion and that devotion could empower creativity. Even though their relationship ultimately ended in tragedy, the legacy of their marriage still stands as a testament to the power of love and its ability to thrive in moments of great difficulty and uncertainty.
Oscar Wilde’s View Of Marriage
Oscar Wilde had a unique view of marriage that was informed by both his relationship with Constance Lloyd and his own personal beliefs. He believed that marriage should be based on mutual understanding and intellectual stimulation rather than financial and political stability. He argued that it should not be treated as a purely practical matter, but rather as a union between two people, with each bringing something unique to the relationship.
Wilde also believed that marriage was necessary for artistic growth, noting that a successful relationship provided the support and stability needed to create great works of art. He wrote, “A great artist needs a great friend, and great friends are united by a great spirit” (Yenne). For Wilde, marriage was an important part of an artist’s development and could provide inspiration, intellectual stimulation, and the right environment for artistic growth.
Finally, Wilde promoted a version of marriage that was based on mutual respect and admiration. He believed that couples should strive to elevate each other to higher levels of understanding and wisdom. As he wrote, “In true marriage, there is no right better than being right with each other” (Yenne). With this in mind, he argued that the marriage of two people should be a partnership based on intellectual and spiritual understanding rather than mundane details.
Oscar Wilde’s views on marriage were both progressive and deeply personal. He strived to promote an understanding of marriage that was based on commitment and trust, an understanding that was shaped by his relationship with Constance Lloyd. Even though their marriage could not last, it still stands as a testament to the power of love, and the legacy of Wilde’s views will continue to shape conversations about marriage for many years to come.
