Oscar Wilde was a Victorian-era writer known for his witty epigrams and masterful plays. He was married to his longtime partner, Constance Lloyd, and together they had two sons. While the marriage began amicably, their relationship deteriorated as Wilde’s work found success. Wilde’s extramarital affairs caused a great strain on their marriage, resulting in the couple’s permanent separation. Afterward, Wilde lived a life of moral and financial ruin, despite his literary success.
Wilde met his wife, Constance Lloyd, in 1884. She was a charming, petite woman – a daughter of an Irish barrister – who was seen as being full of life and almost too playful. Wilde proposed to her only months after meeting her and their wedding took place in May 1884. While Wilde was fairly well-known in the upper circles of society, his wife came from a significantly more privileged background.
In the early years of the marriage, Wilde and his wife had a wonderful living in London, running two households and they often went to France on vacations together. However, Wilde’s relationship withromantic affairs had a significant effect on his relationship with Constance. Wilde’s scandalous behaviour finally reached a boiling point in 1895, when he was tried and found guilty of gross indecency and sodomy. Constance stood by her husband’s side throughout the trial, yet the shame of the conviction, combined with Wilde’s gambling debts and mounting legal costs, too much of a toll on their relationship and finally separation became inevitable.
Constance devoted her life to her sons, and protected them from the notoriety of their father’s fall. She changed her surname to Holland and raised her sons as Anglicans, distanced from Wilde’s Irish roots and Catholicism. The couple’s divorce became official in 1898, and Constance was awarded custody of the children, along with a lump sum of £6,000 from Wilde, who declared himself bankrupt shortly after.
After their divorce, Constance maintained good ties with their sons, and in pre-Victorian Britain that was fairly remarkable. She remained close to all three of them throughout her life and even sought to prevent Wilde’s creditors from seizing all of his estate – although her attempts were unsuccessful. Wilde, on the other hand, never saw his sons again, despite being allowed to write them occasional letters.
Constance died in 1898, just a few months prior to Wilde’s release from prison. Although their marriage ended in separation, Constance kept loyal to her beloved husband and remained a steadfast companion throughout his trials.
Oscar Wilde was married to Constance Lloyd for 14 years, from 1884 until 1898. Their marriage began with a lot of optimism, although Wilde’s numerous extramarital affairs finally took a toll and the couple’s bond was put to the test. After their divorce, Constance remained close to their two sons and fought hard to protect Wilde’s estate, while the writer himself was never able to see his sons again.
Early Years of Marriage
At the outset, Constance and Wilde had a promising marriage, filled with love and laughter. They spent part of 1884 and 1885 travelling around Europe, visiting Venice and later Paris, where Wilde wrote his famous story, The Portrait of Dorian Gray. That same year, Wilde wrote several poems for his wife, including Helas! which was later published in his collection The Ballad of Reading Gaol.
Despite Wilde’s growing fame, the relationship between the couple remained strong. They divided their time between two households, one in London and another in Speranza, an Irish country house inherited from Constance’s father. Together with their two sons, Cyril and Vyvyan, the family had an idyllic lifestyle, although Wilde began to lose substantial amounts of money to gambling and drinking.
The wild life of the high society of London and Paris, which Wilde enjoyed, provided by patrons such as the Marquess of Queensberry and the Prince of Wales. The couple often spent their holidays in France, where Wilde could write and paint, often assisted by Benjamin Constant, his assistant in painting.
The Wildes were among London’s most fashionable couples, as they often attended private parties and theatres, along with having regular guests at their private residences. However, Wilde’s promiscuous lifestyle began to cause tensions between the couple, yet their relationship lasted significantly longer than most people expected.
In the late 1880s, Wilde began having numerous extramarital affairs with other men, often with the full knowledge of his wife. Wildes’s indiscretions eventually led to the breakdown of the couple’s relationship and caused immense distress for Constance, who still remained devoted to Wilde for many years despite his moral corruption.
The Final Breakdown
The first signs of the break up between Wilde and Constance were visible when they were travelling around Europe. Constance implored Wilde to abandon his reckless lifestyle and often expressed her anger and frustration at his behaviour. In 1891, Wilde would move out of the couple’s shared home, yet the two still maintained a rather intimate relationship.
The final blow came in 1894 when Wilde was accused of sodomy and gross indecency. The case against Wilde was crushed by the Marquess of Queensberry, who often funded Wilde’s extravagances. After two trial cases, Wilde was effectively bankrupt and was sentenced to two years jail in Reading Gaol.
During Wilde’s imprisonment, Constance faced numerous economic hardships from Wilde’s creditors. Furthermore, Wilde’s trial and imprisonment caused incredible public shame and embarrassment for the couple’s children, who were often ridiculed at school by their classmates. Due to this, Constance decided to petition for a divorce, which was ultimately granted in 1898, largely due to Wilde’s inability to pay.
Wilde’s moral turpitude had been the primary factor for the couple’s separation, yet for all the turmoil that their marriage went through, Constance’s devotion to Wilde had been admirable. Despite their divorce, Constance still helped Wilde financially by giving him the lump sum of £6,000, despite the fact that she had been destitute due to the legal costs.
After Wilde’s release from prison and his subsequent exile, he and Constance never spoke again. Despite the reasons that caused their separation, there is still a great admiration for their love and loyalty towards each other.
After Marriage
After their separation, Constance moved to London, where she devoted her life to her two sons. She changed her surname to Holland, so that the boys would be spared from the notoriety of their father’s fall. She also refused to accept any more funds from Wilde, claiming that her children deserved the security that their father’s death provided.
The young boys were initially angry with their mother for failing to stop Wilde’s moral demise, yet they gradually accepted the situation and their anger was soon replaced with admiration. Constance soon became a public figure, often giving lectures to women’s rights, yet her main concern remained her children’s well-being.
In 1904, Constance moved to Switzerland for the sake of Cyril’s health, yet she returned to London frequently, often visiting her sons, who both became accomplished writers. Constance died in 1912 and in her will, she asked for a £1.6 million trust fund, which would guarantee her children’s independence and financial security.
Wilde, on the other hand, was never able to maintain any sort of relationship with his sons. Although he was allowed to write them occasional letters, he was never able to see them again in person, despite numerous attempts by his sons. His falling health and numerous pressures made it impossible, and he died in Paris in 1900.
Wilde’s Love and Strength
Returning to the Wilde and Constance’s marriage, even in their final years together, Constance’s love and loyalty to her husband remained unwavering. Despite the affair and the difficulties they faced, Constance still found it in her heart to forgive Wilde and remain devoted to him, even when society had forsaken him.
Wilde was often pejoratively known as a morally corrupt man, yet his wife never lost faith in him and remained a steadfast widow throughout his trials. Until her death in 1912, Constance remained close with both her sons, who had been deeply affected by the experience of Wilde’s trial and imprisonment.
Wilde and Constance’s marriage came to an end due to the legal consequences of Wilde’s reckless lifestyle, bringing much shame and financial ruin to the couple. Although things could have gone better, the affection that they shared over the years of their marriage should not be overlooked.
The depth of Oscar Wilde and Constance Lloyd’s relationship is still difficult to assess, as it was largely overshadowed by Wilde’s public downfall. Nevertheless, their relationship was a testament to the strength and love that can endure even in the most trying of circumstances.
Influences and Legacy
The marriage of Oscar Wilde and Constance Lloyd was a great influence for literary and cultural historians. Dating back to the Victorian era, their relationship was a classic example of a classic marriage, which was full of love, yet ultimately did not manage to survive a major public scandal.
The example of Wilde and Constance’s marriage has helped to shape how we approach the ideologies of masculinity and femininity in marital relationships. The resilience of the couple’s relationship, despite outside influences and public opinion, is seen as a great example of devoted love.
Essays, biographies and films have been created in order to commemorate their relationship. Recently, the documentary The Most Magical Love Story: Oscar Wilde & Constance Lloyd was released, with Michael Sheen narrating the story of their marriage. The film aims to bring to light the importance of Wilde and Constance’s relationship, despite the obstacles they faced.
Wilde and Constance’s marriage will forever remain one of literature’s great love stories and a profound example of resilience and loyalty. Their relationship weathered many storms and although it ended in separation, their love for each other never diminished.
