Maya Angelou, one of the most influential writers of her generation, made the unusual decision to stop celebrating her birthday at the age of 21. Her explanation was that she wanted to avoid the tangle of emotions and experiences associated with the holiday. Many people find birthdays cathartic and joyful, with a reminder of the accomplishments of the past year and a promise of new and exciting opportunities in the future. However, for Maya Angelou, the day was not associated with either joy or promise. She has discussed the personal significance of birthdays in several of her works, describing them as a “radiating reminder” of her own mortality and the frailty of life.
It is believed that the incomparable writer’s growing awareness of the world’s violence and injustices affected her attitude towards birthdays. She was relating her experiences to stories she had heard outside her own life and surroundings, and it changed her perception of the holiday. The stark realities of life were far from joyous. Maya Angelou likely made a conscious decision to not celebrate her birthday, due to her understanding of the futility and suffering of life.
Angelou’s interpretation of the purpose of birthdays differs substantially from most people. People typically enjoy getting older because it signifies a milestone and a demonstration of their personal strength. In contrast, Angelou believed that birthdays only highlighted the mortality of an individual and the gradual withering away of their youth, creativity, productivity, and physical capabilities. Angelou conveyed that birthdays can serve as a reminder of human suffering, in that life can end abruptly, sometimes suddenly and without warning.
In her works, Angelou also suggested that birthdays could act as an obstacle to achieving personal fulfillment. By celebrating annually and focusing on how much time has passed, people can become absorbed in their own sorrows and regrets—and not their potentials. For Angelou, celebrating her birthday would increase her fixation on her mortality and limit her progress.
To summarize, Maya Angelou does not celebrate her birthday out of the belief that it would serve as a reminder of her mortality, human suffering, and lack of personal achievement. It is likely that throughout her life, Angelou slowly shifted from seeing birthdays as a milestone to recognizing them as a memento of her mortality and death. As such, Maya Angelou believed that celebrating her birthday was not the best use of her time, and in turn, abstained from the tradition.
How Maya Angelou’s Perception of Birthdays Changed Over Time
Maya Angelou’s decision to stop celebrating her birthday was the result of her changing views on the purpose and relevance of the occasion. Angelou’s opinion of birthdays was not static, but rather changed and evolved over time. It is possible that Angelou celebrated birthdays throughout her childhood, and only changed her stance in adulthood. As she aged, her perception of birthdays shifted from a milestone for becoming a year older, to a moment of mourning for her mortality.
Angelou likely began to feel the repercussions of mortality in her early adulthood, and it is likely this feeling directly altered her stance on birthdays. During her teenage years, Angelou wrote several letters, poems, and stories that featured themes of death, grief, and injury. Throughout this period, it is possible she felt her mortality to a greater degree, and as a result, adjusted her opinion on the
significance of birthdays.
In addition to transitioning from a focus on joy to one of grief, Angelou also experienced a spiritual spark that was likely connected to her changed stance on birthdays. As she made the decision to no longer celebrate her birthday, Angelou emphasizes in her written works on the idea of an inner light. Moreover, the presence of the Holy Spirit provided Angelou with the assurance that she would be taken care of, providing all she needed in the future. This awareness of her mortality and faith in a higher power likely aided in her decision not to celebrate her birthday.
It is clear that Angelou’s view of birthdays evolved over the course of her life. She moved from celebrating joyfully to deliberately not celebrating birthdays, because she believed they to served only to highlight her mortality. In her works, she speaks gravely of her own mortality yet with a peacefulness. What is certain is that Maya Angelou’s decision to stop celebrating her birthday, while considered unusual and perplexing to some, stemmed from her personal convictions and beliefs.
The Impact of Abuse on Angelou’s Stance on Birthdays
Angelou experienced a traumatic event in her childhood that likely changed her perception of important occasions such as birthdays. At eight years old, Angelou was raped by her mother’s boyfriend, which led to her feeling unheard, helpless and discouraged. As such, she likely viewed birthdays as a reminder of the pain she faced and how nothing she did could stop the incident from happening. Since it was a yearly reminder of the traumas of her life, it is possible that Angelou chose to not celebrate her birthday as a way to cope with her trauma.
In response to the abuse she suffered, Angelou pushed herself to keep going and create a life for herself. As she wrote her first several autobiographies, she detailed the great sorrow and fear she felt as a child, and how this travesty fuelled her spiritual journey. As such, it is likely that Angelou replaced celebrating her birthday with a passion for adapting, growing, and learning as much as she could. It is possible that Angelou was searching for meaning and purpose during her life, using writing as a way to tell her story and make sense of her life.
While Angelou’s abuse is not the only reason she chose not to celebrate her birthday, it is certain that the travesty played a role in her choice. It is likely that Angelou disliked birthdays because they reminded her of her unresolved trauma, replacing the joy of birthdays with the terrifying experience she went through as a child. In that sense, diversions such as writing likely acted as a form of therapy for her.
Why Other People Choose Not to Celebrate their Birthday
Due to her unique personal experiences, Maya Angelou chose to no longer celebrate her birthday. Despite its unusual nature, it is likely that other people have a similar stance to Angelou, albeit for unique reasons.
One reason that people may not prefer to celebrate their birthdays is feelings of guilt when they are surrounded by loved ones on the occasion. Many people measure their quality of life by the presence of their family and friends, and as such, an empty celebration can create feelings of guilt. Alternatively, spending time with people during birthdays can be an acknowledgement of what has been accomplished, serving as a reminder that other people may have not experienced such a successful life. While most people view birthdays as an opportunity to celebrate personal accomplishments and make new goals, some people with less success internalize feelings of guilt during the occasion.
A second potential reason participants do not celebrate their birthdays is dissatisfaction with their life. Often, people will step back and reflect on their life, and in turn, feel uncomfortable that their accomplishments do not align with their goals or expectations. Moreover, celebrating birthdays can be a constant reminder that the person is unfulfilled or unhappy, and may create a negative or pessimistic outlook on the future. Those who feel this way often opt to not celebrate.
Preventing the Unnecessary Sadness on Birthdays
Some people are likely to feel a sense of sadness and grief on their birthdays, regardless of whether or not they choose to celebrate the occasion. When this occurs, Angelou suggested providing some form of comfort in order to help get through the difficult day. She suggests talking to family, friends, and acquaintances to bring more joy into the day and keep the person’s mind off the discomfort of their age.
Angelou also provides some techniques that people can use to stay positive and and keep calm during their birthdays. She recommends meditating and reciting mantras and affirmations that bring happiness and peace. She also states that finding distractions can be helpful. For example, Angelou suggests go for a walk, read a book, or watch a movie. In this way, the person can keep their mind off their age and the associated mortality, feeling comforted and engaged in the present.
Finally, Angelou recommends that those who feel discomfort on their birthdays should spend some time alone. Taking some time away from people can help to clear the person’s mind and allow them to consider their feelings calmly. By doing this, they can accept their age without the potential judgement of others, and ultimately come to terms with it and seek personal fulfillment.
Social Pressure to Celebrate Birthdays and its Impact on People
As it is not seen as the conventional choice, the decision to not celebrate birthdays is often met with criticisms and judgement from friends and family. The pressure to celebrate birthdays can become overwhelming, and often lead to many people feeling like they are required to take part in a yearly event. This can be overwhelming, especially for people who do not feel excited or relieved on their birthday.
In some instances, people will celebrate their birthdays due to the expectations of others rather than for their own enjoyment. Not celebrating birthdays can cause many people to feel guilty, or like they are judged by those who believe that birthdays should be celebrated joyously. Consequently, those who do not celebrate feel the need to explain their reasoning and actions, ultimately putting additional stress on the individual. This often can lead to feelings of guilt, discomfort, and sadness.
Overall, the potential consequences of not celebrating birthdays can be exhausting, as social protocols and expectations can be closely associated with the occasion. As such, people’s actions are often meaningful to more than just themselves, which adds additional pressures on the individual. Ultimately, if these pressures become too intense, they can impinge on a person’s confidence, self-esteem, and personal values.
